Do you remember when you were in college and you were certain you knew exactly how your life was going to play out?
First you’d go to grad school. Then you’d land your dream job. Then you’d find your soul mate and you’d both live happily ever after.
Suddenly your life isn’t going according to your plans. Maybe your dream job didn’t turn out to be that dreamy or your soul mate hasn’t shown up on cue. NOW WHAT?
I can’t tell you how many curve balls life threw me. But there were many.
When I was in college, my father passed away and I was completely devastated. Instead of taking a semester off (because that wasn’t a part of the plan) I tried to muster through and ended up failing a class. A very important class. I sat back and watched my GPA go down the tubes. Good bye grad school.
Next up was me not landing my dream job.
And then came the string of not soul mates.
You guys, My life plan had failed.
It was time to sit down and take a good hard look at my life. Once I hit the pause button and took time to reflect, I realized it was the first time I had actually took time to look at my life and my decisions in a very long time. I had been living a life that was propelled by momentum that began with my ill fated life plan.
It became very clear to me that the missing piece to this life I had tried to build was self trust.
Going all the way back to my college days, I had a strong desire to take a semester off to mourn and to be with my Mom while she mourned the loss of my Dad but I didn’t trust myself enough to know that leaving school would be OK and that I would be fine as a result of that pivot in my life plan.
The first several jobs I took after college were jobs that I thought I should do, they weren’t what I wanted to do. Who knows what I really wanted to do because I never took the time to figure that out.
The good news is, my life is no longer fueled by momentum. I don’t make decisions based on what I should do or what other’s think I should do.
I still have a life plan but it has lots of room for pivots and redirects and that feels so much better than attaching myself to a plan that has no room for error.
How can you ditch your original life plan and feel excited about it instead of freaking out?
- Spend time connecting to how you want to feel in your life, not what you want to do. There are many paths that lead to the same destination. If you get intimately familiar with how you want to feel in your life, you will see that there are several paths that will create those feelings for you. For example, if you want to feel challenged and excited by your career( This is your destination-not the J.O.B.), there are infinite jobs that will feel challenging but not all of those will feel exciting to you. Which options will give you both? Explore the options, explore which of those feel the most exciting to you and remain open that how you want your life to feel will most likely change so it makes perfect sense that your career will change along with it.
- Cultivate self trust. This takes time and patience and yes, a little seed of self trust to begin with but the good news is-you have that little seed inside of you so it’s time to call on it, water it and let it grow! Practice self trust in as many ways as you can. Say yes to things when you don’t have all the details because you will be fine, no matter what. Say no to things more often because you will be fine no matter what. Take on projects, travel alone, go out to dinner by yourself. You have opportunities every single day to get better at trusting yourself.
- Be willing to quit and be willing to fail. These are biggies. Quitting isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength. When you quit a project because it no longer feels good to you or it is draining instead of energizing, it will free up precious time and energy to devote to something that is really worth your time and effort. When it’s reframed like this, quitting takes on a whole new feel doesn’t. it?Failing is another hard pill to swallow but the reality is, we learn and grow a lot more from failing than we do from succeeding.
Are you willing to stay on the path you planned for yourself a long time ago even though it doesn’t fit you or are you ready to pivot, lean into self trust and create a new path that is much more rewarding?
My name is Carol, I’m a personal development coach for high-achieving women (like you). In my spare time I’m an aerialist, a yogi, a lifelong fitness pro, and someone who’s got your back (all the time). I’ve been through my fair share of struggles with overwhelm, perfectionism and people pleasing and if I’ve learned anything, it’s this: The way that you feel is a direct result of your choices, actions, and behaviors. Need to take a step back and recalibrate? Let me show you how!
You can connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest or in my private Facebook group for ease seeking high achieving women